


Playing the Wall

by anstaar



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Ableism, Childhood, Father-Son Relationship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-03
Updated: 2011-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-21 00:12:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anstaar/pseuds/anstaar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Miles learned to swim</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing the Wall

Miles saw the lake from the hovercraft as they swirled down toward the big house. Gregor had said he would see the lake, said that was what Negri had seen which let him (three quarters dead, Gregor doesn't say, but Miles was very good at listening) know that this was where his Emperor would be safe. He saw the stables (he knew about horses from pictures and vids and he could see himself in a picture-that-isn't riding as big and good as anyone) and fields, too, but it was the lake he saw first.   
  
When they set down, they found the old man, Miles' grandfather, standing waiting for them. He greeted his parents colder then Count Vorhalas when he thought he was alone with da. Bothari kept a grip on his shoulder, even though Miles _knows_ how to be polite with company and wouldn't be running from his granda (even though he had heard his ma mutter, maybe you should, when he'd said that) and there wasn't anything he could 'destroy with his ravaging curiosity.'   
  
Miles was very good throughout the whole greeting, even though his granda didn't even look at him. He was good when they went down to the village, too. He'd met Elena before but it was nice 'cause she twitched less than Ivan and wasn't nearly as stupid and wasn't allowed almost as many things as are on his list so when they play he wasn't always lagging behind or hurting and hearing the old lecture once again. But she could swim.   
  
Miles found out she could swim very cunningly. They were playing Vortala the Bold, even though there are only two of them so they each have to play about a billion roles and it's hard to be Vortala and his loyal lieutenant and the evil spy and the engineer and tons of others all at the same time. Elena was good, even if she spent most of the time giving him the stare (like he's spontaneously gonna break apart) and she did sometimes look surprised that he was walking. Anyway, he was being the spy and she was a loyal corporal and he said (in his best, most evil, voice, ever), "if you don't tell me what I want I shall throw you into the lake!"  
  
"I would never break the solemn trust that my leader has placed in me," she declared, then, with her bright, rare smile, "'sides, I can swim, anyway." Then she broke away and he went to chase after her (she flashed like silver to his dull, plodding tread) but all the time he was knowing that he couldn't swim and would drown if a spy threw him in the lake when he wouldn't give up his word.   
  
Miles wasn't allowed to swim. He wasn't sure if it was on the 'list of things that will send him to the hospital' that Vaagen had given everyone but he could just see his ma's eyes if he suggested it. She's probably say something about how he could beat his arms to fragments in the water or he's get sick or maybe, worst of all, it'd be that _she_ grew up on a planet without swimming and really it was okay and not another sigh you're a useless mutie who has to be carried through life because you can't do anything and even if you could you'd be useless at it.  
  
That was why Miles did something he shouldn't have. They were down by the docks and Bothari was telling them about fishing and Elena was staring up at her father and Miles _already_ knew about fishing so he jumped. He didn't jump straight up and down 'cause he did that off his bed once and broke both his legs and Vaagen asked whether maybe he should be put back in the binder (each morning they had to come in and lift him down and sometimes Miles wondered if one day they wouldn't come and he would just stay there, forever) for everyone's good health. Instead, he sort of rolled/jumped and then he was in the water without breaking anything, which was sort of a victory.   
  
Then, Miles thrashed about like he'd seen swimmers do in 'holos but it was a lot harder than it looked but then so was walking and he'd done that but his chest was starting to hurt and then he was grabbed. He sat coughing on the deck while Elena stared at him and Bothari veered back and forth between yelling at him and using his com and Miles huddled and shivered despite the jacket that had been quickly wrapped around him.   
  
His da looked sad when he saw him (his da _always_ looked sad when he saw Miles) and stopped the sergeant's yelling. He sat down beside Miles and said to him, like it was just the two of them, "Why did you do that?" For a long time, Miles couldn't figure out what to say. It was hard talking to da, knowing that he was barely human and an anchor that won't ever be got rid of.   
  
"I just wanted to swim," he mumbled finally. Da smiled, though he still looked sad, and picked him up.  
  
"We'll get you different clothes and a 'tube, and have a little talk about following rules, and then I'll teach you how to swim, alright?" And Miles nodded, even though it wasn't.


End file.
